Off track....

Hey

I've gone way off track the last week or so, haven't done my e-cises, broke up with girlfriend, and this has had a major impact on me mentally. I have been going out loads with my mates, haven't wanted to stay at home, and therefore have not been doing my e-cises, and as a result pain levels have gone back up, I'm really annoyed and angry with myself, because I've not being doing the e-cises, I'm usually so well motivated, and don't let anything get in my way, but this break up has knocked me for six, and thrown everything off course, I feel lost at the moment.

I'm seeing my Egoscue Therapist tonight, I will be completely honest with him, he knows of the situation I am in, and has told me to concentrate on myself, and I do try to, but it's really hard. Just need a good kick up the arse to get motivated again, and focus on the things I have control over at the moment, and I have control over my health now I have found Egoscue, no point in worrying about things I cannot change.....I say this but finding it really difficult to stick to this mental state....

I feel that maybe on some level I am not wanting to perform my e-cises, to cause me some pain, some physical pain, to hurt myself, self hurting in some way.......

I know I will be fine, but right now just feel like shit, hate feeling like this, I always am positive, and always see the good things in a negative situation, but this is really testing me, but I guess life throws things at us, knocks us down, and then it is a test of our strength and character to overcome this, and become a stronger person, and life is about taking risks and risking rejection, and fear, but we must work through this fear, doubt, sadness, negativity, and when we make it through the otherside we are stronger....

It's amazing how love is the best thing in the world, but when it is removed it is one of the worst feelings ever, and makes you sometimes wish you never had it, but as I said if we don't take risks, and lets face it, love is taking a risk, we are then living, we are experiencing life to the full.....

Sorry to stray off of Egoscue sometimes, but I feel to be healthy we have to be both physically and mentally stronger, and this is why I am posting my feelings as well as what I feel....